In Genesis, God says that it was not good that man was alone. Adam, upon meeting His wife, spoke the first recorded words of man – a poem: “this is bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh.” Essentially, this woman is me.
Husbands, it is better that you are married. But we have to understand that marriage is not the reward for responsible men – marriage is the means for God to make responsible men. Without your wife you are incomplete.
And that completeness isn’t like icing on the cake. It’s not about having a cook or a housecleaner or extra income or something pretty clinging to your arm as you go about impressing everyone. A wife completes you because she brings into your life all the glorious qualities that make men higher beings than the animals, as well as, hardening us into creatures that are images of Christ. Marriage is the oven for soft clay. Marriage is a long obedience in the same direction and God uses it to shape men into little Christs.
Gentleness, Patience, kindness, self-control – all the things you need to handle the weaker vessel. And the weaker vessel is the weaker vessel like gold is the softer metal. Gold is soft so that it will be malleable –able to be shaped, molded and altered by the forces applied to into adorning objects of Beauty.
You are that force. So, by learning to shape that gold you are being shaped into a gentle, patient, kind, self-controlled craftsman.
Ephesians 5:25-26 “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word,” Proverbs 12:4 “An excellent wife is the crown of her husband.” And Paul says in 1 Corinthians 11:7 “but woman is the glory of man.”
And of course all these virtues (goodness, patience, kindness, self-control) –are contrary to your nature because you are fallen and because you are MEN – They are the fruit of the spirit. Only in the power of the Holy Spirit will you handle your crown of glory like a king. Crowns are a glorious burden that call forth from man divine attributes.
Gentlemen, is your wife a burden? She should be. She should be a burden like a hundred pound weight is a burden –the more you lift and carry it the stronger you get. Not a burden like a curse. Not a burden like an annoyance. A burden designed to make you stronger and more masculine by carrying it. And the greater the weight of the burden the richer you are – just like gold. Because your wives are gold and God gave you broad shoulders to carry that burden of gold. You aren’t making bricks without straw, you are shaping and molding crowns to lay at the Lord’s feet.
Ladies, Sisters. The Lord God did not say follow him, obey him, respect him or submit to him when he is worthy of it. If you wait till he’s worthy your gray hairs will go down to the grave in sorrow. Be His glory. Own that. That is weighty. It’s not his job or his reputation or his fantasy team. It’s not his stature or his knowledge, his degrees or accolades that make him a worthy man – you are all that makes him a worthy man, you are what makes him whole. Own that. Complete Him. Be a beautiful and worthy crown. Pray for Him. Encourage Him. Help Him. That is a heavy task. Being Gold is weighty. Lastly, Gold is malleable. What is shaping you? Him? If not, why? Can you talk to him about that? If not, why? If not, then you have a serious problem – and it’s not you.
Fellas. Sit down tomorrow morning at the kitchen table. Take some time as the truck warms up. Sit down in the break room for your first fifteen and write out two lists.The first is a list of pros – all the blessings, glories and underserved gifts that your wife is to you. A list of her virtues and qualities and Gold-like attributes. The second list is a list of cons – the areas in her life that need work. The burdensome vices, the difficulties, the lack of virtues, the areas that need improvement. And if your list of pros isn’t, at the very least, five times longer than the cons, the problem isn’t her – it’s you. The way you view her, the way you lead her and the way you are NOT shaping her. You are not approaching your marriage like a Christian man. Please message me immediately, my counseling schedule is open.